God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize