Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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