I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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