she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize