There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
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We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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