cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize