i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize