you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize