it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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