have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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