You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize