in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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