I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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