then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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