You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
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I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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