ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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