If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Come on in and take your pants off
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