george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize