just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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