I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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