how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize