Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize