Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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