I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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