I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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