I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my shit smells like andre
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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