She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Who died my cat blue again?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize