You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize