Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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  (352): Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance. http://tfl.nu/csuc
  Replies (178) Good night (3952) Bad night (780)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

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  (914): I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day. http://tfl.nu/x5t9
  Replies (20) Good night (3501) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar

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  (202): the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar http://tfl.nu/f2lj
  Replies (6) Good night (4915) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

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  (+44): I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon. http://tfl.nu/t0p2
  Replies (5) Good night (4590) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It would be one hovered percent delicioui

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  (815): It would be one hovered percent delicioui http://tfl.nu/wb9b
  Replies (6) Good night (1613) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.

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  (330): Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor. http://tfl.nu/41un
  Replies (5) Good night (2016) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding

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  (313): There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding http://tfl.nu/91sj
  Replies (16) Good night (1305) Bad night (3428) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.

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  (815): yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead. http://tfl.nu/wa3x
  Replies (6) Good night (1951) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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  (602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185
  Replies (8) Good night (799) Bad night (2108) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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  (712): Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision http://tfl.nu/by7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1483) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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  (479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8
  Replies (10) Good night (547) Bad night (2147) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.

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  (208): If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas. http://tfl.nu/e1hv
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.

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  (717): Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character. http://tfl.nu/xf1x
  Replies (11) Good night (636) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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  (763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What a great time to reflect on life

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  (248): Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up (248): What a great time to reflect on life http://tfl.nu/lxxa
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (197)

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