A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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