i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize