he wants to bone in the snuggie
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize