Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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