he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize