no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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