Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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