I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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