so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
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Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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