he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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