im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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