Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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