I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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