i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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