Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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