there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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