It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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