He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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