Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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