so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So much rum. So many feels.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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