I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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